I really appreciated the way this shifted the conversation from how much care costs to what kind of care we'd hope for ourselves. I think that's a much bigger question, and one we probably don't ask nearly enough.
Thank you my friend for reading and sitting with this piece. It’s def a question I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. Truly hope to continue to spark conversations that help change the systems we have accepted
I’m so glad you wrote about this. I just had a conversation with my mom about this last week When my dad had a stroke and became a quadriplegic needing long-term care, we weren’t prepared.
I told my mom I wanted her to feel comfortable talking to me about these things, even though I’m nowhere near ready to think about her needing long-term care. It was devastating and also much needed. And keeping love front and center throughout the conversation really helped.
I am passionate about highlighting the systems we have built and how I don’t feel like they are benefiting the people they should. No family should have to stress or be forever in debt bc of the cost of care. I hope to follow up this piece up with answering some of the questions I have most importantly where does the money go? A lot of people are in nursing homes not getting the quality care every human deserves and I just feel called to start conversations around how we can do better. I am sorry to hear about your father but love that you and your mother are becoming more prepared as well as keeping love at the front of it all. ✨
Oh my goodness, I'm actually writing a post similar to this but from the view of children who take care of elderly parents as a subscriber asked me to write about this. Can I link your post in mine so readers can carry on with this topic? This is brilliant. Your post is thought-provoking and gosh those figures are staggering!!
Thank you my friend for always reading and engaging with my work I would love to cross link both post! It’s important we have these conversations because I truly believe we can build a better tomorrow for all 🫶🏼✨
Once yours is up I’ll add yours to this one I don’t think it’s a coincidence we both were called to this topic. Look forward to continuing conversations 🫶🏼✨
Excellent post, Marlana. I’m fortunate that my parents primary goal in was not to be a burden on any of us as they aged. When I took over their finances last year, I was surprised that, despite their years of low-paying jobs, they’d amassed close to a million. They got there by maxing out on their 401k contributions and living frugally, although they were fortunate to be able to travel after retirement—something they’d never done outside of camping or driving up North to a cottage we once had. While there was still quite a bit for me to do as they declined, I never felt like I was being burdened. Dad spent his last 5 months in a nursing home at $14k a month. Thankfully, Mom didn’t need assisted living until her last 3 months. That was $6.3K a month. And their nest egg only went up in value. Too bad I’m not an only child! LOL 😂 All kidding aside, the cost of care is alarming. As is the quality of care at some of the facilities we visited. One actually smelled like, dare i say, death. Fortunately, both of my parents ended up in nice places that provided exceptional care. Some of the nurses even cried when my dad died—they adored him. It’s frightening to think about what this level of care will cost in 24 years when I’ll be as old as my mom was when she died. Especially as corporations and PE firms gobble up more and more of these facilities and focus on the bottom line and making shareholders happy. Healthcare needs an overhaul so society can remain healthy for longer, and put less burden on the system and the families who can’t afford nursing homes or assisted living.
Lynn thank you so much for sharing all this with me. I already knew your parents were amazing but what I’m afraid of is at this point I have 0 dollars saved and no 401k and maybe someone would look at that as me being financially illiterate or making poo decisions thus far in my life and they might be right idk but I look at it as I never had a chance I’m only going to be 37 and the cost of survival is much more than one your parents were growing up and old. I hope to continue to highlight systems that have lost site of their role. Healthcare should always be about people not profit!
Believe me: I wasn’t even close to being financially savvy until probably 40 or so. Should’ve put more into 401k when i had the chance. And yes, the world is so different and definitely more expensive—especially healthcare and housing—than it was during my parents’ generation. Our world needs more balance.
The reflection room is all about those topics. I understand most of us are overwhelmed these pieces aren’t supposed to contribute but to spark conversations of hope because we are always able to change the systems we have built✨
I really appreciated the way this shifted the conversation from how much care costs to what kind of care we'd hope for ourselves. I think that's a much bigger question, and one we probably don't ask nearly enough.
Thank you my friend for reading and sitting with this piece. It’s def a question I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. Truly hope to continue to spark conversations that help change the systems we have accepted
I’m so glad you wrote about this. I just had a conversation with my mom about this last week When my dad had a stroke and became a quadriplegic needing long-term care, we weren’t prepared.
I told my mom I wanted her to feel comfortable talking to me about these things, even though I’m nowhere near ready to think about her needing long-term care. It was devastating and also much needed. And keeping love front and center throughout the conversation really helped.
I am passionate about highlighting the systems we have built and how I don’t feel like they are benefiting the people they should. No family should have to stress or be forever in debt bc of the cost of care. I hope to follow up this piece up with answering some of the questions I have most importantly where does the money go? A lot of people are in nursing homes not getting the quality care every human deserves and I just feel called to start conversations around how we can do better. I am sorry to hear about your father but love that you and your mother are becoming more prepared as well as keeping love at the front of it all. ✨
As someone with aging parents, this post really hit hard. Extremely pertinent questions, all.
Thank you for reading and sharing with me. I just believe in a future that we all would hope for✨
Me too!
Oh my goodness, I'm actually writing a post similar to this but from the view of children who take care of elderly parents as a subscriber asked me to write about this. Can I link your post in mine so readers can carry on with this topic? This is brilliant. Your post is thought-provoking and gosh those figures are staggering!!
Thank you my friend for always reading and engaging with my work I would love to cross link both post! It’s important we have these conversations because I truly believe we can build a better tomorrow for all 🫶🏼✨
I totally believe we can work towards building a better tomorrow for sure! Thanks I will 100% add this post in! 💜🤗
Once yours is up I’ll add yours to this one I don’t think it’s a coincidence we both were called to this topic. Look forward to continuing conversations 🫶🏼✨
I agree it's not a coincidence 💯
Thank you my friend 🧡
Excellent post, Marlana. I’m fortunate that my parents primary goal in was not to be a burden on any of us as they aged. When I took over their finances last year, I was surprised that, despite their years of low-paying jobs, they’d amassed close to a million. They got there by maxing out on their 401k contributions and living frugally, although they were fortunate to be able to travel after retirement—something they’d never done outside of camping or driving up North to a cottage we once had. While there was still quite a bit for me to do as they declined, I never felt like I was being burdened. Dad spent his last 5 months in a nursing home at $14k a month. Thankfully, Mom didn’t need assisted living until her last 3 months. That was $6.3K a month. And their nest egg only went up in value. Too bad I’m not an only child! LOL 😂 All kidding aside, the cost of care is alarming. As is the quality of care at some of the facilities we visited. One actually smelled like, dare i say, death. Fortunately, both of my parents ended up in nice places that provided exceptional care. Some of the nurses even cried when my dad died—they adored him. It’s frightening to think about what this level of care will cost in 24 years when I’ll be as old as my mom was when she died. Especially as corporations and PE firms gobble up more and more of these facilities and focus on the bottom line and making shareholders happy. Healthcare needs an overhaul so society can remain healthy for longer, and put less burden on the system and the families who can’t afford nursing homes or assisted living.
Lynn thank you so much for sharing all this with me. I already knew your parents were amazing but what I’m afraid of is at this point I have 0 dollars saved and no 401k and maybe someone would look at that as me being financially illiterate or making poo decisions thus far in my life and they might be right idk but I look at it as I never had a chance I’m only going to be 37 and the cost of survival is much more than one your parents were growing up and old. I hope to continue to highlight systems that have lost site of their role. Healthcare should always be about people not profit!
Believe me: I wasn’t even close to being financially savvy until probably 40 or so. Should’ve put more into 401k when i had the chance. And yes, the world is so different and definitely more expensive—especially healthcare and housing—than it was during my parents’ generation. Our world needs more balance.
Don’t mind me just trying to quietly start a revolution 😂
Another thought provoking observation about life. It's one of those difficult topics people avoid rather than consider and prepare for.
The reflection room is all about those topics. I understand most of us are overwhelmed these pieces aren’t supposed to contribute but to spark conversations of hope because we are always able to change the systems we have built✨